Spring has passed, and Summer is winding down. The longest day of the year is now behind us, and the only things that we have to look forward to are earlier sunsets, and the possibility of some beautiful someone to share them with....
Ack, can it get any worse than that?!!
While most people seem to get upset at comments such as this, I feel that I, as a legal citizen of the United States of America, and blessed with the power of Free Speech (not, notice, Freedom of the Press, as I do not consider myself YET as part of that "Press"), have a need to defend my position. I currently attend the University with one of the highest Married Student populations in the country-- Brigham Young University; or, as most of us cynics prefer to call it, "The Marriage Factory." Yet I have no real desire to get married, nor do I have any real desire to be overly "social." Although most of my good friends are deeply engaged in their "good cause" of dating and courtship, and many of them have even been married up to this point (one friend's wedding is tonight, prompting this post), I have never seen myself as one who enjoys the "social life." I feel that school is much too important, and I have plenty of trouble finding enough financial means to support myself, let alone a girlfriend, wife, or child. So, why do we, as BYU Students, feel this overwhelming need to "settle down" before even attaining a Bachelor's degree?
In a word, Sex!
Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm talking about the ever-famous S-word. As the majority of us belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we believe in a very strict commandment called the Law of Chastity. This law, divinely inspired and revealed to us by a Prophet of God, is that we are to have no sexual relations with any other person besides the spouse to whom we are legally wed. This includes, among other things, a need to maintain ourselves modest in thought, dress, and action, and a continually striving to avoid situations which may lead to a compromising temptation in later stages. It is for this reason, however, that we see so many of my fellow colleagues and classmates with engagement rings and wedding bands by the even of their 22nd Birthday!! The need to reproduce sexually is inherent in all of our genetic material, an understatement that would be agreeable amongst most main Christian and non-Christian religious denominations, and scientific philosophies. It would be Darwinian Suicide if we were programmed to NOT have these sexual impulses! Reproduction would cease, and the human race would fall within a matter of generations!
With that being said, I do not wish for the casual reader of these thoughts to think me anti-relationships, homo-sexual, or even homo-phobic; I am not. I believe whole-heartedly in the union of Man and Woman in Holy Matrimony, and I believe that the Sacred act of Procreation should be used ONLY within these bounds; That being said, I do not believe that Sex is good enough as a primary motive for Marriage. I believe that the relationship between a Man and His Wife should not be rushed into as one would rush to the Supermarket because they forgot an item on their shopping list; Marriage is a serious commitment, and the steps to pre-marriage should be equally thoughtful and regarded as an equally serious commitment. It is when two people see marriage is the answer to their "sexual woes" that they tend to find greater faults in their relationship, often times leading to extremely early pregnancy, divorce, single parenthood, and even a loss of one's religious faith, because "marriage was supposed to solve our problems." While the marriage relationship does have the capacity to strengthen the bonds of love between a man and a woman, and sex is an irreplaceable act in the strengthening of those bonds, a relationship that is founded purely on the sexual desires of the individual WILL NOT STAND!
I realize that there are many, many students at my beloved University who have married the woman whom they now call "wife" based on a very thoughtful and meditative analysis of their relationship together; to this students, I sincerely commend you! You are moving forward with your lives in a way that no successful career or honors graduation can make possible! But I also acknowledge that many of the products of our "successful Marriage Factory" are mere facades, imaginations of a "lustful heart and a horny spirit," rather than a "broken heart and a contrite spirit." To these couples, I say, "WAKE UP!!" Find the real reason for your relationship, and move toward it! Look for something that pleases you about your spouse that is non-physical in nature, and cleave to it! Ask yourself, "If I were blind, and had lost the use of my reproductive organs, would I still love this person?" If the sincere answer is Yes, then you will be able to trudge through any hardship of life. But if you question yourself upon asking these questions, then you need to sincerely re-evaluate your relationship, and possibly end it right there!
Marriage is sacred; Sex is sacred; and as two sacred acts, the maturity and thoughtful insight of the individuals involved is necessary in considering the preparation of two for these marvelous events. Think about it....